By Faith Okon-Inyang a CRARN beneficiary and child’s rights activist.
Opening Salutation
Distinguished guests, honorable dignitaries, kind-hearted donors, and my fellow warriors of survival—good morning.
Today, we gather here not just to commission solar power but to witness something almost as rare as a rainstorm in the Sahara—a Nigerian government official showing up on time! But don’t worry, I won’t name names… yet.
Appreciation to Akwa Ibom Women Association, Houston Chapter
First and foremost, I must take a moment to shower praises on the incredible women of Akwa Ibom Women Association, Houston Chapter, USA.
Ladies, you have done something truly revolutionary—you have sent us light! No longer will we struggle with NEPA playing hide and seek with our electricity. No longer will we have to take night classes under the flickering flame of a struggling lantern. With this solar system, we can boldly say, Let there be light! And there was light, indeed, there shall be.
From the depths of our hearts, we say THANK YOU for this gift. You have not just installed panels; you have installed hope, dignity, and opportunity. May your kindness shine brighter than our solar batteries!
Let me pause at this moment to say a big THANK YOU to Barrister/Mrs. Mercy Odungide for her visionary leadership and for remembering us. We appreciate you, Ma
A Comical Reminder to the Chairman of Eket Local Government Area
Ah, yes, our dear Chairman of Eket Local Government Area, Rt./Hon. Akaninyene Tommy, please come forward for your special recognition. We appreciate your continued support and presence here today!
But sir, I have a small issue… just a tiny matter to bring to your attention. Three years ago, you adopted us, children from CRARN. And while we don’t want to say you forgot us, let’s just say your schedule has been so tight that even Google Calendar has lost track of us!
Chairman sir, we know governance is demanding, but please—don’t let too much government wahala make you forget your own children. We don’t need much, a little call, a little check-up, maybe an occasional rice bag for Christmas? Even if you can’t remember birthdays, at least remember tuition fees, we beg!
Sir, CRARN is proud of your contributions, but today, I officially file a Missing Father’s Report! Let’s fix that, shall we?
The Myth of Witchcraft & the 21st Century Wonders
Now, let me ask you all a serious question—one that has troubled my soul for years.
We are in the 21st century, an age of artificial intelligence, space travel, and self-driving cars. Yet some people still believe there is a secret gathering called a coven where people eat human flesh in the spirit realm.
Seriously, people?!
If children had magical powers to harm others, why is my school fee still outstanding? If they could hypnotize people, why haven’t they hypnotized a billionaire into funding their education? And why, I beg you—why—do these supposed witches never use their spells to break into banks and cash out billions instead?
Nigeria is too hot for midnight witch meetings. And trust me, if supernatural bank theft was real, CRARN children would already own private jets by now!
Let’s leave superstition behind and focus on real problems—like ensuring these children have food, education, and shelter instead of labeling them as something they are not.
A Call to Action: Governor Pastor Umo Eno & the Arise Agenda
Lastly, I must humbly, but firmly, call on His Excellency, Governor Pastor Umo Eno.
Sir, your Arise Agenda is rising beautifully for others, but for vulnerable children, the abandoned, the stigmatized, the homeless, it seems to be making us crawl and sit on the ground instead.
Sir, you are a man of faith, and faith teaches us that whatever we do for the least among us, we do for God. So please, make these children a priority. Our faces are too tight. Make we smile small, our Golden Governor!
We don’t ask for luxury. We don’t ask for excess. We ask for the bare necessities—food, education, healthcare, and dignity.
Akwa Ibom is a land flowing with milk and honey, yet CRARN struggles with just four monthly donors in Nigeria—and none are from the Niger Delta!
Sir let’s turn things around. Let’s prove that charity begins at home. Let’s ensure that CRARN no longer relies solely on foreign donors to feed, educate, and care for children that belong to this great state.
Closing Appeal
As we commission this solar power system today, let it serve as more than just electricity—let it be a beacon of awareness, responsibility, and action.
